Irish test of the Saab 9-3

You’ve got to love the Irish!

Not only can they talk 10 feet underwater with a mouthful of marbles, as well as inventing new and interesting sports like bogboarding, they can play football pretty well too. My AFL club, Carlton, has just signed up four Irish juniors as an investment and we’ve currently got one Irishman, Setanta O’Alphin, who’s become a legend at the club just this year. His first remarks at training in his first week, when he was doing drills and skill work, were something along the lines of “I can’t wait until we get playing properly so I can go out and hit someone.” Now that’s what you want in a footballer.

With character like this, one shouldn’t be surprised when they call a car review “Black Saab-ath”.

Try deciphering this:

Testing the 9-3 on the legendary corners encircling Wellingtonbridge, I was curious to let the car loose in Clongeen, where the village slopes, potholes and infamous asteroid-direct-hit surfaces, in the land that Wexford Co. Council forgot, are as combative as any membraneously glazed boreen outside Stockholm.

The 9-3 was not in the least discommoded by the chewed roads of Clongeen, because a car designed by people who spend their winters buried up to the neck in snow, has a chassis acutely tuned for a firm response in the most trying of situations, and Clongeen, unlike neighbouring Foulksmills, where you could play snooker on the tarmacadam, ticks all the boxes.

I think that means that the Saab 9-3 rode pretty well over some rough roads.

And I love this:

The multi-link rear axle gives a car conceived in Valhalla appropriate grip and ride: the ReAxs is unique to Saab, probably because the Germans feel they don’t need it, and gives you controlled steering with all four wheels.

Who else votes for all Saab press releases being written by the Irish?!

There’s also the odd little-known fact:

Because it is Swedish, and Swedes like to ski, boot space is big enough to fit an elk, and if you do need to ferry skis, there are spilt rear seats in most models. The 9-3 is positively mentioned three of four times in the first chapter of The Gathering, the novel by Anne Enright, which won last week’s prestigious Man Booker Prize.

All that aside, it’s a review that’ll bring a smile to your face, and not only for the humour and earthiness of it. The 9-3 has improved, and that fact isn’t lost on our reviewer.

Recommended reading.

You may also like

4 Comments

  1. anyone read flann o’briens column cruiskeen lawn, written for the irish times in the fourties? it’s published as a collection named golden hours. very strange und amusing.
    he has also written some great novels.

  2. Must love the Irish! I live in a very Irish section of New York (Woodlawn in the Bronx) and I should love them enough for the fact my fathers from Ireland, but they also give the 9-3 a great review, so I love them more! If I ever do European Delivery Program I’ll whip the car on the N4 towards Co. Sligo then the N17 to my familys house to Co. Galway!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *